Listening

     Many people will agree that in this fast-paced world our minds are often remarkably busy. Sometimes so busy that we really do not hear what is being said when we are being spoken to. How many times has someone been speaking to you and you see their mouth moving but your mind is thinking of something else? Then comes that awkward moment when they ask your opinion about what they said. Not the most effective level of listening. Listening to understand is often considered the highest level of listening because it involves a deep engagement with the speaker’s message. When you listen to understand, you let the speaker finish and get their thought out. Also, you are not just hearing the words. In face-to-face conversation, you are also observing the nonverbal such as tone, facial expression, and body language. The goal is to fully understand the speaker’s feelings, perspective, and intentions.

     My sister and I became good swimmers at an early age. We took swimming lessons at the local community center in our neighborhood. I recall walking home after swimming one day and my feet were itching like never before. It was almost unbearable. When we arrived home, dad asked how swim class went. I proudly told him that the swim coach said Sis and I were the best he has seen at our age and that dive training would start next week. However, my feet are itching bad. Dad asked me to take my shoes and socks off so he could see what is going on. As soon as he saw my bare feet, he said: “son, you have athlete’s foot.”  I stopped listening to him and at once got up and excitedly ran around the house yelling: “WOW, I have athlete’s foot. I am going to be an athlete”! I did not know which sport I was going to play but the fact that I had athlete’s foot was a good sign to me that I was bound to be a professional sports player. My mind wondered would I be a swimmer, play hockey, baseball, or basketball. This was an incredible dream for a young boy. My dad let me be excited for a while before he sat me back down and finished his thought. He then said: “No son, you have a foot fungus, and we need to treat it.” I was heartbroken as my dream of being an athlete was shattered. Had I let my dad finish his diagnosis before interrupting him, I could have responded appropriately and effectively. It surely would have helped avoid the misunderstanding and misinterpretation.

    As much as I travel, I can probably give the flight attendants’ pre-flight safety message by heart. However, I make sure to take out my air pods, look at the attendant demonstration and listen attentively to the entire message. It could save my life. In the workplace and elsewhere, it is important to be a good listener to get the best results. When our minds are terribly busy and on autopilot, we will not be a good listener. We need to quiet our mind so we can be present to hear what the other person is saying. It is only then that our wisdom in that moment will guide us as to how to respond most effectively.

Take care of yourselves and each other!